How does one reconcile?

The world we life in could do with as much reconciliation as possible. There is no reconciliation however big or small that doesn't in some way make the world we live in a better place. It is important to realise that reconciliation is not a deed but a process. It is therefore something that hap pend over time. Time, though will never reconcile people. Time only heals if it is used wisely. I find Kraybill's description of the reconciliation process very helpful. Maybe you do to:

1. Relationship risk. The basis of any relationship is that people in a relationship take risks because they trust each other. The more trust, the greater the risks people are willing to take.
2. Injury. Because we are human beings, we make mistakes. At some point people fail to meet the expectation of those they are in a relationship with. When this happens risk is not rewarded which of course leads to injury and distrust.
3. Withdrawal. When injury occur people withdraw either physically, mentally or emotionally. This is a necessary and healthy response to injury. If people are given time to lick there wounds they will eventually start thinking about reconciliation.
4. Reclaiming identity. Through a process of self -awareness and self-affirmation people will recover form their injured self-esteem and self confidence. Without this happening the reconciliation process will not advance any further.
5. Internal commitment to reconciliation. We speak here of a conscious commitment to seek reconciliation, a willingness to take the risks involved in trying to reestablish the relationship.
6. Restoration of risk. Until there is restoration of risk there can be no restoration of trust.
7. Negotiation to meet present needs. There will probably new needs that arose form the past injuries for both parties and these need to be negotiated. This negotiation will free both parties to normalise the relationship if it is done thoroughly.

Easer said than done. Never the less helpfull!