Why won't we apologise?

On my recent study tour we visited a Baptist congregation in London with 32 different races/nationalities represented in one congregation. We learned a lot about the challenges such a situation poses but also about the joy and fulfillment it brings to worship together as one people of God. A Nigerian pastor from a nearby congregation also met as there. He pastored a mostly black congregation and told them that it is a theological no-no that a church should consist of people form only one race. He and his congregation actively planned how white people could be made to feel welcome and become members of a black church. He even wrote a book on the subject. I was inspired by his vision of racially integrated churches.

When we were about to leave this black pastor thanked us and then he did something quite remarkable. He, a black man, apologised for any thing black people in South Africa might have done to harm us during the transition form apartheid. To me it was logical that this should be responded by a heartfelt apology from our side. Most in our group were in their late forties and early fifties. This means that they have benefited from apartheid and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives. Many of them were members of the Broederbond and part of the synods that said apartheid is biblical. But instead of an apology only a dreadful silence followed. I who was 12 years old when apartheid ended, who attended a High School and University that was integrated, who will in future probably be worse of in terms of pension funds than my fellow tour members, I stood up and apologised from the bottom of my heart. I also benefited form apartheid in many ways in in some ways will continue to do so for many years to come. I also owed an apology.

The question that bugs me though, if I am willing to apologise why wouldn't my fathers generation, who have much more reason to apologise do so? Either they don't realise what apartheid did to people or they think they were justified in doing it to other people. The realisation of this makes me sick. One thing I know, I will apologise at every opportunity I get for as long as I live. I will also apologise for previous generations not apologizing when they could and should have done so.